Another History No. 16 Dream

I dream about a dream, a fairly long dream because it covers a part of my life. In my dream I have a girlfriend whom I love very much but we part. I want to have fun to relax my breakup. Anything happens, alcohol and girls. I remember one of the parties, I talked to girls about stupid topics, then we started drinking and partying. I remember that the movie broke after one beer and 4 glasses of vodka, it's strange because I've never had one. I don't know if someone added something to my drink or some other reason, but the movie stopped. I helped take my friend's shoes off and suddenly I fell over, unless someone took me to the next room, I woke up for a moment and lost consciousness again. At one point I woke up and noticed through the fog in my eyes that some chick was using me, but I didn't know who it was, it was dark and I could barely see it. The next day I was sore and I went home to lie down again. I slept off my feet and embraced myself, I didn't remember what exactly happened there, but I still led a fun lifestyle. Another chick that I slept with in strange circumstances even came the other day, she probably wanted more, but I didn't want to. I was fed up with games, I realized that I was making a big mistake losing my life to having fun. I wanted to get to know someone seriously and met my sister's friend. It was good for some time, I and I made a mistake. My mistake was that I still loved the earlier girl, and the current I did not say the word I love. Maybe it would change if it were different, but it wasn't. I felt that he wanted to be with anyone, and it fell on me, it did not allow me to deeper relationships. After some time, we parted, I left because I didn't want to live in a lie. Later, other girls party again, but it was not serious, fleeting acquaintances. I was alone for a long time, which gave me time to think about myself. There were some internet flirts, but I don't take such relationships seriously, only real relationships. Later a girl appeared, whom I really met, but that wasn't it, there was no honesty. Another one appeared, with some plans, but it turned out to be with someone, and I don't get into any relationships. After many years I renewed contact with my ex, but it was a failure, the mistake was on my side. I had to break contact and I don't intend to renew it anymore. Let what is once ever be left, returns can be painful for both sides. I decided not to look for anything by force, I also feel good myself, I got used to this feeling. I lived so long enough and then another dream appeared, which I dreamed several times in different configurations. I dreamed that I live as I live a normal life and suddenly I find out that I have a health problem. So I went to the doctor, I did the examination and I find out that I was late and it was a lot because I had a month to live. I remember crying in a dream, I realized that I didn't see and see so many things. I wanted to use this month to the best of my ability, try everything I haven't tried. First, I thought of parachuting, I remember that at an accelerated pace I did everything to pass it. I remember this jump from sleep, I remember how I flew down as I was afraid that the parachute would not open, but I did it, jumped and even landed, I know what it is for feeling, though I never really did it. Another thing that was I wanted to fly a glider or a plane, I did it, I even flew a helicopter. Then there was a bungee jump, I did it too. Climbing was something else I did it on the wall. Then came the time for dishes I didn't eat or hated, I had to try everything. I also rode a motorcycle very quickly, which was unthinkable before. Driving a quad or a water scooter also had to be passed. I tried everything I could to not regret my life and death so early. Finally, I found out that I have children, which shocked me even more. While I lay there and waited for death, I regretted not seeing how children grow up, how they get married, how they got their children, I realized how important family is. I noticed where I made a mistake, I was jumping from a bungee, from a plane on a parachute, instead of spending time with my own family, enjoying every minute. My family knew I had children, but they didn't tell me anything because they thought bungee jumping was for me more important. I regretted it the most then that I learned about children so late. I blamed my family for not telling me anything, but I also felt sorry for myself that we couldn't talk to each other. When I was dying I cried because I would never talk to anyone again. I wasn't talking about bungee jumping or parachuting anymore, but just talking. I realized that conversations and words give the greatest joy in my life. In the last minutes of my life I tried to talk to everyone as much as possible. My last words were directed to children, I said I love you and gave up a ghost with tears in my eyes. So I woke up with tears in my eyes, this dream changed my life, I know what is important in life. Not even the closeness of the other person, but just talking to anyone. No riches will give you what a sincere conversation with an honest person. Now you know why older people like to talk to other people, when they feel the end is close, they want to talk to anyone who is just honest and kind. It will happen to all of you, I have already experienced it in a dream, I know how it is and I decided to write about it to you. Since then I am not afraid of death, I know what the last days look like. In fact, no one is able to do everything in life, you often run ahead without noticing what is important. Sometimes it's worth stopping and talking to someone, anyone. Sometimes I have such dreams, different from others, maybe you have different ones. With this story I finish my story today ...

 

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05 February 2020

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