Considerations No.57

Hello to all readers of this blog. One day I will tell you the stories of my life, but it will not be today. Today I wanted to focus on other things. People today can't enjoy life, and that's the majority. I spent almost twenty years at home in one room, rarely leaving the room. Sometimes I felt like I was in prison, even though it wasn't a prison, I could go outside at any time. Did I want to leave, not necessarily. Nothing was waiting for me outside. I did not go to parties because I was not for anything. The low pension did not allow this. At some point in my life I thought about what to do with life and decided to sit at home. Sitting at home without spending anything, I could put down something, buy something that would give me pleasure, something that would give me more money. I bought a computer and equipment that I use every day. I did not drink the money from the pension, I did not waste it on playing. I bought equipment that allowed me to live pleasantly. Sometimes it was a lot of sacrifices to buy something and put off for several months. That's why I know the value of money, but it's not important to me in life, just to survive. Thanks to the computer I bought, I could earn extra. I also graduated from school and I was learning to have news on my own, sometimes I spent nights there. I learned to value life and enjoy small things. Can I enjoy my life?: For sure, since I spent twenty years in one room and did not break down, but I came out stronger from this period. Sometimes I enjoy simple things that other people can't enjoy. Sometimes I enjoy watching TV together with my parents, I enjoy listening to music or running programs or singing from time to time. Sometimes I enjoy smoking a cigarette because I enjoy it. Sometimes I play mw games that I couldn't play as a kid because I didn't even have a computer at the time. I enjoy life but I'm not attached to it like most people. I'm just not afraid of death because everybody has to leave this world someday. I have no family, no children, so nothing keeps me here, I have nothing to cry for and regret. When you have nothing, nothing to lose. Material things are nothing to me. If I had a family I would probably regret it, but I don't have it, so nothing keeps me here. If I live or not, I don't lose anything, that's why I'm not afraid of death. I can lose my life, each of you values ​​it, I also in my own way because I would like to see the world change, but my life is not strewn with roses and it never was. I will not miss this life when God claims me. I would never take my life too much, I respect my life and my price. However, when God asks for me, I will leave this world with my head raised, not regretting anything I have done in my life, because I did everything to be good. Sometimes it may not come out well, but it's important to try to be a good person. Even if it doesn't work out, you would try to work it out. At least you can look yourself in the eye. Is death terrible not if you have the right approach. As I said, I'm not afraid of her, but I will always fight for my life to the end. It's probably my fight to live. Such a way of destiny. I have little but I can enjoy it. In the worst moments I can find positives. After twenty years spent mainly at home, I got used to being closed and alone. Do I need others to be happy, rather not, but it would be nice to have a loved one. Some people can't be lonely, I learned it because I had no choice. Sometimes I look at people and see them afraid of dying their own or close people, I don't have this problem. I'm really ready to die every day, but I'm alive and thank God I'm still alive. You are probably curious why I didn't get involved with anyone? There are many reasons. First of all, I didn't meet a person who would take over my heart. Most women I meet think only about themselves. I am 43 years old girls my age have children or they are married. I will not marry, because I do not want to destroy my family. Those divorced with children usually do not look for a man to love him because they love children anymore, they are looking for someone who will help them financially, there is no feeling here, just simple calculation. I will not calculate with anyone with an arrow. Anyway, both people must want to be together, and it's not easy these days. Imagine that I wrote with one girl and she tells me that I live too far and there is no point in writing with myself. You know how to read all these facebook comments, everyone says that distance doesn't matter, but when it comes to what it matters, however. I see different Facebook entries every day, about great love, about the fact that distance doesn't matter, about the fact that character matters, not appearance, but these are the lies of people who want to deceive themselves. When it comes to what it all matters, they are alone. They complain about others in the same way, and they can't see themselves. When I look at such entries sometimes, I want to stab, I think to myself what a moron he put it. It's just life that people complain about everything possible, everything and everyone, instead of just enjoying what life gives him. I try not to complain, but when I look at the behavior of people around me, I'm really sick. Why they simply cannot enjoy what life gives, maybe they have not passed through too much, they still complain too much about it. Under certain conditions, they would enjoy a bowl of rice if they ate once a day. They can't value life. To sum up my considerations, sometimes people have to take everything to appreciate a small detail. Now I will finish my reflections today, have a nice day and learn to enjoy life because you have one and you will not repeat it.

 

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17 June 2020

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