Considerations No.72

Hello everyone, nice and warm, I will tell you a little bit about my life again. There is a way in the life of every person, everyone has a different one. Some have a rose strewn others bumpy. People with a bumpy road should rejoice. Because the bumpy road teaches us something, makes us dumb. Why am I writing this because I have a comparison in life, I was going light and difficult. When I was little, my life was different, sometimes better, sometimes worse, but at a steady pace. In adolescence, my life changed, it was easy, I would say even wonderful. I was a slim person, good-looking girls clung to me, I could be whatever I wanted, I had both looks and money and talked about. I had a lot of friends and it was not a problem to meet new ones. Today I can do it too, but I don't always want to. The fact that my life was like a fairy tale made me a vain and overconfident person that made me completely stupid. I lost my mind because life was easy, but the time came that I wanted to achieve something in my life. I had to find something I care about. I didn't really know what I wanted. I was looking for something that I want to achieve in my life. I thought for a long time, but finally I figured out what is most important to me. For some it was family, for me it was something else. I am a Catholic raised in the church, but at one point I did not want to go to church because it bored me, they were talking about the same thing over and over again. In church, I felt sleepy hearing the same chants and words over and over again. To this day, I do not like going to church, for me there is nothing new there, the same fairy tale as it used to be. Maybe some idiot does not tire, but I am. I didn't have a close friend to talk to, so I had fun talking to God. I would turn on music or just lay there without music and talk to God in my mind. I asked questions and received answers to which I was actually answering. I treated it like a conversation with God, I didn't need a confession because God knew what I was thinking about and what I was doing every day. Confession is an invention of the old times so that priests would know what people do and what they think. Thanks to this, they could manipulate people. They knew everything about people, that's why I don't go to confession and I don't need confession. My confession is my conversations with God in my head. Once, I was talking to myself like this and asked myself what I care about the most. I thought a lot and I wanted to be real and wise and this is how I am today. However, to be wise it is not enough to finish school or read a pile of books. There will be no wisdom from this, you will only know about the subject you have learned. To be wise in life, you need to have experiences and experiences. The wisdom of life was the most important to me. I guess this God of mine listened to me, because he experienced me a lot in his life. I had a life full of roses, it turned into hell, so today I know many things, not from books but from life. As a result, my priorities in life changed. Many things that were important in the past ceased to be important, and the less important became important. I value my life and my time. Money is for me only to survive and sometimes buy something nice for myself that will please me. They are not my priority in life as they are for most. You know why this is because I don't have any debts to pay off, I haven't taken any loans for a new house that I have to pay off. People in their twenties or thirties take out loans for a house, for life, then for a car and for children's expenses. They're actually chasing money because they have a debt to pay off. Their whole life is all about drinking their guts for money. At the age of sixty, they pay off the loan, have a house, and their lives are often not going well, because they have spent their lives on a loan and money that they have to pay back. They had no time for their children, husband, wife, because they took credit, did not sleep at night, they screwed up twelve hours a day to pay off the loan, and they continue to screw up because they got used to it. Instead of having a rest in retirement, they want to help the children and keep working. They want a trip to warm countries, preferably abroad, to brag on Facebook and to their friends in conversations that they have been on such a trip. You know what only they went there with their family and they were probably arguing all the time, but you don't see it in the pictures, the pictures show a smiling loving family. My wife's husband has been awake for several years, but they went on a trip, pretending to be a happy family in front of people. You know why this is happening, because you are going to get these loans and you have no inner peace at all, you are constantly under pressure. You have pressure on money, you could live more modestly and have more time for your family, but you want more and more and you forget what is important in life. You think that a trip to Turkey or another country makes an impression on me, no. For me, it's important to have my loved ones next to me, I don't have to go abroad to be happy. What is there that is not with us, the weather, swimming pool, drinks, you think that's all. There are more important things in life than that you take a bath in the pool, which is not even yours, the weather is nice in my room, always dry, clean, it does not rain, it's not too hot, it's not too cold, I don't even need air conditioning. Have a drink in a bar, what a joy, I'm sitting at home listening to music I like, I can drink whatever I want for the money you spend there. Sorry, however, I do not boast to my friends and on Facebook that I was on holiday in Turkey, my mistake. Think for yourself who you are going to this Turkey or another country for, for yourself or your friends. When I listen to some of them, I see for whom they are going for other people, not for themselves, so they go, argue, do not sleep together, come back and divorce. This is what most people's life is like. My life is not as rich in money as others, but it is rich spiritually and mentally. I can appreciate other people without going anywhere, sitting at home with my parents, whom I can talk to, people I really like. My life is truer than many people who think they have more. In fact, I have more joy in life than they do, they only have problems. I live peacefully in happiness with little, maybe I'm alone, but I'm happy. In fact, I'm alive and when I die I won't regret anything, my life is fun. Most people will regret when in old age they remember how they've spent their entire lives chasing money without seeing what is important. So what if I have no family but no debts, no loans that keep me awake and no ex-wife who kicked my ass and made me pay alimony. Think who is wise, whether the rest of the people who have been killing themselves all their lives for money, or me living quietly and looking at these stupid people. But I am glad that there are such people, because they have worked all their lives and their children will work all their lives for me to retire. Looking back at the times we live in, they might even have a pension like me, except that I worked for a few years and lived peacefully and they killed each other all their lives. Maybe they will have a nicer house than mine, maybe it will be bigger, but no one will take the house to the grave. In the end, we are all equal, but I will live this life happily, and the rest of it in nerves and stress, because you have to pay for credit. They can barely walk, but the loan has to be repaid, in some cases the children will pay off. Now you can see what life has taught me to be wise and happy. I just have to take care of myself, you all of the families. Especially since I have low expectations from life, I will always be happy, you are not, because you are used to comfort, you cannot fall below your standard, because it is not an honor for you. We live in different times, in five years a war may break out, what will happen to your property then you will simply lose. You've been fucking up all of this for years and you will have nothing, I have little to lose because I don't even have a house of my own. When the coronovirus pandemic broke out and you had to stay at home, nothing has changed for me, it was a shock for you, I could go out to buy cigarettes as usual, every day like every day, miracles on a stick for you, you bought toilet paper as if you were going to kill the whole apartment Pandemic she showed what your life looks like and what you are afraid of. If you have a loan to pay off and you lose your job during a pandemic, it is pain and stress because they will take your home. I don't have such problems. Today I live with my parents, tomorrow I can live somewhere else. I have no stress because I have low requirements for life, not like yours. For me in life, wisdom was what mattered, not family, that's what I have, but at least I'm happy. Now I conclude my reflections for today.




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01 October 2020

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